Nightmares
by Death's Daughter
Summary: ShinGoh, but not dodgy! Promise! Shin has a nightmare that forces Goh to remember something painful. ((dun dun duuuunnn!)) Mild Shounen Ai.


**Spoilers:** Some for episodes 6 and 7, I think. The last two episodes on the second DVD at any rate.  
**Warnings:** Mild Shounen Ai, buckets of artistic license, possible OOC-ness, swearing ((but not much))...Yeah.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it. Honestly. If I did, Himeno would be out and it would focus more on the knights. Because they rock. nods  
**Notes:** --- scene/POV change/ author getting carried away with all the shiny buttons on the keyboard.  
/-/-/-/-/ start/end flashback/more shiny buttons!  
  
_Just a few notes about this piece before we begin. Firstly, with regards to the ages of the knights and the timescale I use in the flashback and so on.  
I looked on the official website and the profiles for the four older knights only said 'Appears (insert age here)'. Added to this the fact that in the flashback where they show the knights approaching Takakao, all the knights look the same, save for the obvious three. This leads me to believe that they are, effectively, immortal and makes me think that they've been around much longer than perhaps the series gives you reason to believe. If Leafe is life energy, then the guardians of Leafe must surely have been around since life began. However, I don't think that they are quite that old, so I have surmised that before this set of knights, the responsibility was passed on to each generation until they discovered a spell to make the knights immortal. Are you following me?  
With this is my idea that the younger knights are just re-incarnated versions of the three knights that faded and are, subsequently, identical to their predecessors in every way. This idea came to me when I noticed that the three children looked identical to the three knights shown in the episode when that was explained.  
  
As for the Shin/Goh? It was just an idea that came to me when I noticed that Goh was the one most often put in charge of the children. How often, outside of battle, do you see the others taking any interest in the kids?_  
  
---  
  
Goh stripped down to his boxers slowly, turned out his light, then flopped into his bed with a groan of bliss that came from finally being able to relax after thirteen hours of being on his feet.  
  
He lay on top of the covers for a while, before eventually working up the energy to maneuver himself under the duvet. He wriggled around a bit, curling the quilt around him, before making himself comfortable with a sigh.  
He hated working the late shift. It was nearly always posh business parties filled with picky, snarky men and women old enough to be his mother ((Well, not really, but appearance-wise…)) flirting with him, or vice-versa.  
  
He winced quite dramatically when the door to his room swung open and a shaft of light fell onto his face. The light wasn't that bright - provided by the nightlight they left on the landing in case one of the younger knights needed the toilet, but it still took a moment for Goh's eyes to adjust before he could see the small shadow standing in the light, the top of his head beneath the doorknob.  
  
Goh frowned in a very tired and fuzzy kind of way.  
  
"Shin?" He croaked, then pulled a face when he realised his voice had gone raspy, as it usually did when he was very tired. "What's up?"  
  
No reply was forthcoming and Goh repeated his question, quieter this time, in case the young boy was sleepwalking.  
  
"Shin?"  
  
When again, there was no reply, Goh shifted, getting ready to rise and guide the child back to bed, but he froze when he heard a quiet voice.  
  
"Had a nightmare." Shin whispered, sounding guilty.  
  
"A nightmare?" Goh asked, his voice slipping automatically into more comforting tones. "Dear, dear, that's not good." He sat up. "Come here."  
  
Shin complied, shutting the door behind him and plunging the room into darkness as he stumbled across the floor.  
  
Goh felt the bed shift as Shin scrambled on it, his eyes slowly re-adjusting to the dark. He could just about make out the child's silhouette at the edge of the bed. He held out his arms and Shin crawled onto his lap, curling up against his chest.  
  
"Do you want to tell me about this nightmare?" The older man asked gently. He felt Shin's hair tickling his skin as the little boy shook his head. "Alright…But you know it isn't real, don't you?"  
  
The quiet sniffling that followed this indicated that actually, Shin didn't know that. Goh hugged the small figure on his lap.  
  
"Did you just have the nightmare now?" Another head-shake. "Well, can you remember what the numbers on your clock were when you had it?"  
  
"Two ones, a three an' a six." Whispered Shin.  
  
Eleven thirty-six? Goh blinked down at Shin. But it was three fifteen now, and he'd only just got in…  
  
"Have you been laying in bed all this time?"  
  
"No…"  
  
Goh relaxed slightly.  
  
"Sat by my door with my blanket."  
  
"Why didn't you go back to sleep?!" Goh demanded.  
  
"…was scared…"  
  
"So why didn't you go see Kei or Hayate or Sasame?"  
  
Shin burrowed further into Goh's hold, as if trying to hide from his mentor's incredulous gaze.  
  
"They'd have…they'd have just told me to go back to bed, but I didn't want to." Shin tilted his head back to stare up at Goh. "I was scared an' you can make the monsters go away."  
  
Goh blinked, oddly touched.  
  
"It's monsters again, is it?"  
  
"Not…not just monsters…"  
  
"What else then?" Goh asked gently. "It had better be something good, because you know Leafe Knights don't have to be scared of monsters! Monsters have to be scared of us!" He poked Shin gently in the ribs and the little boy giggled, squirming slightly in his grip, before sobering up.  
  
"The Princess of Disaster…" Shin murmured, and Goh sucked in a breath. "We…we were fighting her, an'…You an' Hayate an' Kei an' Sasame were all t'same, but Hajime an' Mannen were…older an' then something happened an' I was so tired…an' I felt sad too…an' then I was dis'ppearing…" His little hands curled into fists against Goh's chest and he tensed up. "An' the princess was being blocked up in her tree, but we could still see her face an' she was laughing…An' the more she was blocked up, the more I dis'peared…An' she kept laughing an' laughing an' then you started yelling an' I couldn't hear what you were sayin' but you sounded mad an' upset…An' then I woke up."  
  
There was a long pause, then Goh lifted Shin off his lap and placed him on the bed beside him. Shin stared at him, sucking on his fist, eyes wide with a worry that he had upset the older man. As he watched, Goh pulled the bedcovers back a little.  
  
"Come on, get in."  
  
Shin's eyes went wider and he froze. The last time he had slept with Goh after a nightmare he'd been three - just a little kid! He was a big kid now...But...that nightmare hadn't been normal...  
  
"Hurry up," Goh ordered. "I'm getting cold."  
  
This proclamation snapped Shin out of his trance and he scrambled under the covers beside his companion. As soon as Goh lay back down, pulling the covers up around them both, and wrapped a comforting arm around him, Shin relaxed.  
  
"Just don't wake me up early tomorrow, okay?" Goh murmured. "If you do, I may have to kill you on principal."  
  
The words seemed to come from a million miles away as Shin, feeling warm and very, very safe, slipped into sleep.  
  
---  
  
As Shin's breathing slowed and fell into the even patterns of sleep, Goh frowned at the top of the little boy's head.  
  
Under any other circumstances, with any other nightmare, he would have just comforted the child for a while, distracting him from the dream, before guiding him back to bed. This time...  
  
...This time he'd dreamt about an incident that still gave Goh himself nightmares.  
  
---  
  
Before Fenril, the Leafe knights had been separated very obviously into three groups. Kei, aloof and arrogant in his way, had been happy on his own, keeping out of the way of the others most of the time and not really conversing with them unless absolutely necessary. Hayate and Sasame had been fast friends - Sasame being the only person able to spend ten minutes in Hayate's company without getting rubbed the wrong way and Hayate being the only person who understood that sometimes Sasame needed to talk too, instead of just listening. They were polite enough, but never really bonded with anyone outside their select pair.  
  
The only two knights that Goh could count as actual friends, the only two, if he was honest to himself, whose acquaintance he would have pursued even if they hadn't been Leafe knights, were Hajime and Mannen. Of course, Goh and Mannen had bickered, and Hajime and Goh had spent most of their time sharing jokes over Mannen, or sitting peacefully in each others' company, but they had been very close - a little family unit in a way.  
  
And then there had been Shin.  
  
When the group had been introduced, nearly a thousand years before, and sworn into their position as Leafe knights, Goh had been sixteen - nearly seventeen. Their position as guardians of Leafeania granted them immortality, leaving them perpetually at the age they had been when they had taken the oath, physically, if not mentally.  
  
Shin had been eighteen. Goh had found himself somewhat in awe of the older man - he had been tall, with long blonde hair and an air of confidence, mixed with a caring, happy disposition and worldly wisdom that Goh had not yet acquired.  
  
At first, Shin had just been another one of his friends, with Mannen and Hajime, but perhaps slightly more idolized and held in awe. After a few centuries, however, Goh was brought painfully to the realization that what he felt towards Shin was slightly more than idol-worship and friendship.  
  
After about a decade of avoiding each others' glances and not really talking, Shin told Goh that he perhaps held a little more affection for his young companion that the bounds of friendship normally allocated.  
  
Their relationship had progressed slowly. Very slowly. Lifetimes went by while they worked out what they each wanted and needed, but they were happy like that.  
  
They had only been lovers for a year when Takakao became Fenril. Goh remembered everything from the night before the final battle, right up to Shin fading completely with a heartbreaking clarity.  
  
/-/-/-/-/  
  
"**NO!!**" Goh roared, clenching his fists. "No! I won't let you!"  
  
"Goh, I have to - "  
  
"Who says?!" The younger knight cried, brandishing his fists angrily. "You don't! You don't! There's got to be another way!"  
  
Shin grabbed Goh's biceps and held them tightly, keeping his lover in place.  
  
"Listen to me, there isn't any other way." He hissed. "Hajime, Mannen and I have discussed it, we've thought it all through thoroughly. This is the only way we can stop Fenril and we're the only ones you can afford to lose - "  
  
"Bullshit!" Goh yelled, his voice wavering slightly as he broke out of Shin's hold. "Bullshit!"  
  
Shin watched him sadly, his blue eyes showing weariness, pain and sorrow.  
  
"It's true. More often than not, our attacks are ineffective against demon larvae, and when they are, your attacks work just as well. And if you four work together, then you won't need the containment field either - you'll be able to dispose of any demon threats quickly. There won't be as many when we've sealed Fenril away, so it won't be much of a struggle. The team will manage fine without us."  
  
"The team can go to hell!" The brunette snapped. "I don't care about what the team can afford to lose. I know I can't afford to lose the three of you! Especially not you!"  
  
"I have to do it." The blonde replied, reaching out to Goh. "I'm the only one with enough power to assure that only three of us are needed to contain her - that's why I create the containment field, remember?"  
  
"Well, why can't I go instead of one of the others?" Goh muttered, allowing himself to be pulled to his partner, pressing his face into the other's neck.  
  
"Because you're needed here. I told you." Shin wrapped his arms around Goh. "Don't worry - I'll be back. We're immortal, remember? When my essence has gathered enough Leafe, I'll be reborn, exactly the same. And this time you'll get to be older than me."  
  
"That isn't a consolation." Goh growled, pinching Shin's side.  
  
"Yes, well, never mind."  
  
"Besides, how will I know you'll even remember me? How do I know you'll remember anything about this? About us?"  
  
"Well, if my memories don't come back to me in my next life, as I'm sure they will, eventually, but if they don't, you'll just have to make me love you all over again, won't you?" He dropped a kiss on the top of Goh's head.  
  
"How can you be so cheerful about this?"  
  
"Trust me, love, cheerful is the one thing I am not."  
  
/-/-/-/-/  
  
As Shin had faded, the words Goh had screamed had been his love, and curses that damned Fenril every which way from Sunday.  
  
After that, the group had seemed to draw together more as a team, the four remaining knights connecting in a way they hadn't before.  
  
Kei had started spending time with Goh, perhaps first out of pity, but gradually more because he actually enjoyed his company. Sasame had provided a willing ear and comforting words and Hayate had been something steady for him to focus on while he waited for his friends to reappear.  
  
He had taken on the brunt of the responsibility for the children without asking the other three, and they hadn't questioned his motives. Until they were old enough to start depending on one another as well the adult knights he had been pretty much their sole carer and guardian.  
  
Even now, he still took most of the work, though he was more willing to let the others help. It was as though, by bringing them through infancy into early childhood, he had paid off the debt that had occurred when he had allowed them to fade in the first place.

---

Goh sighed and closed his eyes, finally allowing his body to relax as a positive thought occurred to him.  
Shin's memories were coming back. This was the first, he was sure. And he was certain they would become clearer as he grew older. Hopefully it wouldn't come back to him too soon, but Goh felt sure that by the time he reached eighteen - a time period that he knew would pass in a flash for someone his age - Shin would remember everything. 

_-Owari?_


End file.
